Keto Crotch…um,no

Keto Crotch is not a thing
Keto Crotch is not a thing…don’t be so gullible. Sure your Ph balance changes and needs to even out once you drop the crappy foods. But this is vagina 101! Do you really think eating real vegetables and clean meats and healthy fats smells worse than something that comes from a box? Get real.

What a morning!

I’ve been getting pinged all morning about this article about something they’re calling “Keto Crotch” so let’s just nip this in the butt…or wherever.

The answer that everyone has been asking me about all morning in a single word is…NO. No, you don’t stink like a rotting fish from eating a Keto diet. Who ever heard such a thing? This is ridiculous! I almost don’t want to keep writing because this is just laughable, but I must because everyone wants to know about this stinky vajayjay issue.

The Kellie Kitchen~Real Food
Just happy to be eating real food.

The Shift to Healthy

Sure when you change your diet “things” shift, but all that means is that you’re system was unbalanced to begin with. Once you stop eating crap and start eating real unprocessed foods you (and your smells) balance out.

Ladies, it’s called your Ph levels….and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. This is vagina 101.

Of course when go from eating cookies and bagels and tons of WINE to a clean menu of vegetables and grass-fed meats (ButcherBox for us) and healthy fats there is a change. Step away from the dark side of sugar and bread and yes things WILL change…for the better!

Don’t get sucked in!

ALSO……The article published in the NY Post about “Keto Crotch” is click bait, just like the Jillian Michaels BS that erupted last month. That knucklehead touted Keto as a “bad plan”….ya, I’m not listening to her. She’s a bully and an idiot. People are onboard with Keto, so their article AND Jillian Micheals are just another way to get you to click.

Sorry, no gimmicks

Real Food
Totally fresh foods come together for delicious and healthy meals #truth

Eating Keto is so popular with the American public (and the world, for that matter) because it works. Keto Crotch is NOT a thing. Imagine that, eating real food actually makes people lose weight, sleep better, have more energy,…need I go on? And guess what? The food manufacturers and gimmicking diet gurus are freaking out! Real food comes from the dirt to your table (ideally) NOT a factory. Food manufacturers can’t make money when you don’t buy their cardboard boxes….duh.

I get most of my staple pantry items from Thrive Market or Amazon (This is the BEST deal around on Almond Flour ), but the truth is that I LOVE going to the supermarket to pick out my own produce. It’s an experience for me. I get to dream up new things to make while I’m seeing with my own eyes what is fresh and beaming with energy. Sorry…didn’t mean to get all woo woo on you, but seriously….eating fresh food puts a skip in my step that I don’t get from a box of pasta noodles #truth.

A little kitchen time

I actually USE my kitchen A LOT. Yes, I know I use my kitchen more than the average folk, but why is it so weird to make your own food? Exhausting, messy, hard? Cooking for yourself and your family does NOT have to be 5 Star Michelin level. I use my Instant Pot about 2-3 times a week and all the other meals are a play on those items made in my Instant Pot or other leftovers.

You don’t have to spend hours in the kitchen to feed your family healthy food. A little time and planning goes a loooooonnnnnggggg way. Get into the habit of planning out a few meals and I promise that “smell” will level out.

Vagina One-Oh-One

Seriously, people…it’s Vagina 101. When did ANYONE forget that women have an aroma? I’m totally fired up about this right now and will not be shamed into thinking that a woman’s vagina (and it’s smell) is something to hide. No, we don’t get Keto Crotch. Yes, woman have a smell down there and it’s amazing. When we eat real food our system and ALL our odors level out.

Have you ever smelled a man the morning after a weekend of tailgate partying. Think about all those beers and cigars and corndogs and beans and bread-y fried things they ingest…you think that smells good to wake up to? Gross…eat a salad boys!

Colorful salad bowl
A Healthy salad does NOT have to be boring or bland.

Balance your system, yes!

Get your food balanced out and I’m telling you that you’ll smell like roses (and taste delicious). It’s super easy to test your Ph levels in the privacy of your own home. Urine Ph Test strips are inexpensive and easy…just hold the strip in your urine stream and get your answer immediately about where your WooHaa is at.

Keto Crotch is not a thing. And BTW….that’s what that STUPID article says, too!

Blueberries
Bowl of fresh blueberries on vintage white background. Top view

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